Part Two
WEEKS BEFORE RUDYโS, insultingly witty and honest mother passed away, she looked at me over the rim of a Lemon Drop at the Ripe Tomato in San Juan Capistranoย
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ย ย her unfading brown eyes acutely aimed at me.ย ย
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย โYouโre too emotionalย
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ย ; itโs going to be your ruin.โย
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย โItโs passion Harriett, and part of my character.โ
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย โIt will do you no good. You have to listen to me.ย Iโm 97!โ
Harriett learned early on how to wear pearls and refuse pointless suffering.ย
I write this after a wakened sense of transformation.ย I didnโt have to go far, or pay any moneyย for this mud bath.ย It was after reading an email from my former almost engaged ย to man.( me never!) and the concentrate ย of my last standing hope for truth between us was treated as a formality.
ย So my emotions have been replaced with a cooler temper for both love and sensitivity.ย ย Thatโs okay, theย real danger is in developing into a cynic;ย tossing out jazzy lines about, how a man can destroy your life, and all of that.ย Thereโs a Middle Aged group of womenย โmen suffragesโโ, that live in Santa Fe. Sometimes I see myself in that group, chanting, doing yoga, going to lectures, out to lunch.
What percolated this epiphany?ย Iโve never been emotionally damaged by a man.ย There have been ย sorrowful break-ups, but when we split up, all eight of the men became close friends over the years.
My gal posse offer advise; light a match to his love letters, treat yourself to all therelaxation rituals, and spa treatments, take a trip to visit them and indulge in friendship, and joining Match.com. ย You see, everyone knows your voice, and even if your thousands of miles away, friends can hear despair.
ย Itโs all very similar to โA Book of Common Prayerย
ย .โ Witty Joan Didionย
ย , the ways she says, something I am paraphrasing,ย โIโm not calling ย at a bad time am I Charlotte? Youโre not in the middle of a nervous breakdown or anything? โ
I wonder if you lie to yourself it gives you an edge on how to lieย without ย conscience. ย Seems to be in vogue or something.ย That is the fault-line innocence and adulthood. Once you cross that line you know it.ย Iโve always been told I was a late bloomer in everything!
ย Iโm on my way out the door; I rented the house for twelve days.ย ย The big white Suburban just drove up. A wide shouldered, grinning forty something just got out of the car.ย ย I see a woman, then the two teenagers, and a dog! They didnโt tell me about the dog, but itโs a little limply Cocker Spaniel, so I wave, ย
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย โHi, come in Iโll show you around.โย
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ย To be continued. Hariett and I pictured in 2004 at a San Diego Opera Gala.