ENDING THE MEMORIES


NOVEMBER 2021                                                                        

MAXFIELD PARRISH

ย ย ย  ย MONTHS LATER ON THIS DAY, she closed the shutters to him and alchemized from a cocoon to a butterfly beneath a circle of friends in tune.ย  She removed the photos, gifts, and letters and put them in a box to reminisce later. Talking out loud, “She takes just like a woman, but she will not break like a little girl.” No more hours fanning the past; on this day, my view is spanning.โ€ย  She sat peacefully by the fire into the night and let her broken wing sing as she watched the wood turn to gold. ย 

MOTHER’S


It is my mother’s birthday, so I am thinking of her. If she had been here today, we would have had this conversation.

Mom, I can’t hold up, I’m so beat down.”

” You have to. I know your situation is degrading and frightening, but you don’t have a choice. You have to use all your strength.”

” I wish I was more like you.”

” You are like me, and I know you will overcome.

After our home burned down in the Bel Air fire, my parent’s divorce was in motion. Dad moved to Hollywood, and Mom moved me to Westwood to a studio until she found work. Mom returned to modeling to support us.

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    HOPSCOTCHING THE TRUTH TWO


    Three days later: The door is locked now, it will pop open now and then, in my interior rearview mirror. My secret can only be revealed after mounds of trust have been sifted and sealed. The former LouLou trusted, effortlessly, so the truth is I cannot behave that way anymore. Or can I?
    It is the most destabilizing force of emotion to accept I trusted someone who betrayed our thirty-five year “Huckleberry Friend” song. I don’t know how anyone else adapts to this. I’m kinda staring out the window, like a cat staring at an unreachable mouse. When I’m in this mood I listen to Bobby Darin and Tony Bennett, I’m a bleeding nostalgic.ย  Photo Credit Philip Townsend. ” London in the Swinging Sixties.”

    HOPSCOTCHING THE TRUTH


    WHEN YOU TOUCH THE TRUTH: by thought, word of mouth, friend, or by a dream, however, it comes, and completely unexpectedly it is, the blessing is it came.ย  hopscotch-bristol-1050x700 ย  When it is closure, to events and persons in those events, and if you examine your part, what you played, was it original or falsified, was it genuine, and was it worth it. Asking myself these questions, asย  I bounced over to the Social Club to test my sociability.ย  I do resist introductions, loners are like that, tonight I was in a celebratory mood, and I wanted to beย  like an octopus, my arms hanging out, ready to catch. t.ย  ย  ย 

    Three days later:ย  The door is locked now, it will pop open now and then, in my interior rearview mirror. My secret can only be revealed after mounds of trust have been sifted and sealed. The former LouLou trusted, effortlessly, so the truth is I cannot behave that way anymore. Or can I?ย 

    It is the most destabilizing force of emotion to accept I trusted someone who betrayed our thirty-five year Huckleberry Friend trust.ย  I don’t know how anyone else adapts to this.ย  I’m kinda staring out the window, like a cat staring at an unreachable mouse.ย  When I’m in this mood I listen to Bobby Darin and Tony Bennett, I’m a bleeding nostalgic.