Thoughtful Reflections and Autumn Leaves: An Upstate New York Story


The leaves, I noticed when I drove out of the driveway a wispy wind and a few leaves blew past my windshield. I don’t think they want to die or hibernate; I don’t want to hibernate; that’s what you do if you are in upstate New York. Even this summer, the porches are empty, and the owners only come out to garden or empty trash. I’m the only one who sits on the wrap-around porch, head perched up to the sky to see what drama she’ll bring.

Where did we go this summer? Where did you go or do? One friend went to Croatia, another to Finland, and another to Sonoma. I prefer to travel in September, with my crowd cowardice and fear of flying; I’m waiting. Of course, I cannot leave because I am showing the house to prospective buyers. They are all very similar, rave and applause for the house, and their offer is two lines above insulting. Or maybe I am still in my delusional dream that Follies House is worth what I priced her. It is a voyage into the Twilight Zone; I see one house, and they see another.

Back to the leaves, the fall’s language, movements, and tasks will turn inside out. Soon, the blowers and street cleaners move all those beautifully colored leaves. I leave mine out until my gardener orders me, sweetly, LouLou, it’s time for fall clean up, or you won’t have grass next summer.” I won’t be here next summer, but I don’t say that because we’ve become pals, and he likes to manicure my lawns; I always greet him and George, his helper, and listen to their grievances.

Beyond the seasonal altercation, like a dress that needs hemming, emotions stop boiling over and seem to simmer. I am still determining where that originates, but I experience it every year as September approaches. Autumn is about awe. I read that somewhere. We slip into the interior chambers of thoughtful reflection, crunching the leaves of our souls for answers to questions.

I called my pal Jerry because it had been a few weeks since I had spoken to him. We have been friends for many years, but we have absolutely nothing in common. He’s famous for his photographs and films, that’s all I can say. I didn’t ask for his approval as I write this.

” Hello,” He sounded drowsy.

” Jerry! Did I wake you?”

” Yes.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll call tomorrow.”

What for I’m awake now. I take naps because I can’t sleep through the night; I close my eyes, think for maybe an hour, fall asleep, and wake again five times in the night. What’s happening with you?”

” You are cerebral, so turning off your head would take a bulldozer or something.

“That’s a little drastic.”What’s happening with the house?”

” Showings, repairs, and a few offers that were insulting. I have a question.”

“Oh no.”

“What do you do when you don’t know what to do>”

“I call my attorney.”

” For life questions?”

” I don’t have any more questions at ninety-six.”

” That sounds peaceful.”

, We sidetracked an upcoming appointment with his doctor about sleep medication.” It’s tomorrow, I don’t feel like going,

” So don’t go. I had an appointment this week for a mammogram. That morning, I woke up trembling, panicked, wobbly, and so I called and canceled. When I told the representative I was having a severe panic attack, she laughed and said, I hear that all the time.

“What’s the mammogram, is that for breast cancer?

” Yes.”

” What do they do?

Oh, it’s weird. The nurse takes hold of your breasts, places them between two clamps, and then tells you not to breathe or move while they take an X-ray.

“What if your breasts are too small?”

“Ah hah, mine used to be, so they’d tug at them, and it was more painful than the clamps. When I turned seventy-one this year, suddenly they inflated, and I can fill my B cup to the rim.” He was laughing, imagining he had some visual, and that was good. We have better dreams when we sleep with pillow joy.

“I’m going to go to sleep now>”

” I hope you do. I’ll think of more breast stories tomorrow.

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FRIENDS of FOLLIES


Saturday, a heavy clog of humidity tries to zap my energy. I slept six hours, so I fight, do laundry, do a bit of weight lifting, go up and down the twenty stairs twelve times, and wander in my mind. I answer the first phone call of the day.

” Hi, how are you? ?” I pause to answer with some amusing honesty.

” I’m cleaning my brain?

” How do you do that? You’re funny.”

” “I sweep away all the repetitive scary thoughts.”

What about you? My friend sighed and then zigzagged into her struggles, taking care of her ninety-six-year-old mother, who does not speak English; my friend is Armenian. She works full-time as a court translator, has two children, a husband, and about fifty friends she continually connects to.

You are four people in one. I don’t know how you do it?” Is your Mom still living with you?”

Yes, she can’t walk. She sleeps in the living room because the bedrooms are upstairs. It’s difficult. I have to feed her as she’s now refusing to eat.”

” Please try and get a nurse’s aide to come in and help you.”

“She won’t let anyone touch her but me.”

“I find that selfish, not to be critical, but you will wear yourself down.”

” She’s always been like that; in my culture, you never abandon a parent, no matter what. Her mind is sharp, so that is good.

” Heaven isn’t good enough for you,” she chuckled. I often improvise to be amusing because her laughter is boisterous, and we all need more injections of humor.

” Have you decided where to move when it sells?” She asked again.

” Yes, I was looking at my book on Italy, all the different regions, and I think Anacapri is a good choice.”

” Oh, Greta… that is so expensive; what are you thinking?”

“I’m not thinking I’m daydreaming.”

” I have an idea for you. There is a new trend, something like Boomermates, a group of people who share a house, and you don’t have to sign a lease. Go look in San Diego and find something.

“Roommates, strangers, you mean?”

“Yes, why not?”

” Would you do that?”

” Probably not. A studio anywhere in San Diego is two thousand at least, and don’t use the proceeds from the house.

“Now you’re daydreaming. I’ll have to use some without the rental income until I find employment. Are you home now?”

“No, I’m driving to San Diego for a court appointment

“It’s what, six in the morning?

“Yes, I wake up at five.”

” Every time I come here, I think of you. You were a great leasing agent. You leased about fifty of my units. You can get a job leasing in a nice project. Oh, you should have bought that unit. I remember G4 when we converted to condominiums.

“Yes, you’ve told me that a hundred times.”

” I made the same mistake. What can you do?”

” Complain and then accept what you can’t accept. Like selling my home.” I went through my steamer trunk and found my marketing portfolio when I opened Follies as an artist retreat. It was nonstop theatrics. One time, I hosted a theater group of six young actors; they were so much fun. Ah, memories.

” You will make it; look what you accomplished, winning a foreclosure, Greta; that is something big.”

” So is my glass of wine.”

“I’d be doing the same in your situation.”

” Another showing, a really nice family. They’ll make an offer. They commented that the exterior paint is their issue, so did I tell you already? I found a marvelous painter from Albania, and he’s given me a very reasonable price to paint the entrance, balisters, and overhang. You know that curb appeal is critical.”

” You shouldn’t spend your money, Greta, how much?”

” Three thousand, and it’s a lot of scraping and ladder work. It’s the right decision if I may disagree with my real estate guru.”

” That is reasonable. Keep me posted. I’m in San Diego now, so I will speak to you soon.”

” Heaven isn’t good enough for you.” And I’m leaving Follies in the best I can because she was so good to me.

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JOCKEYS & SARATOGA SPRINGS NEW YORK RACE TRACK


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     After several summers in Saratoga Springs, I discovered I loved thoroughbred horseracing. All my life Iโ€™ve been a performing arts spectator. I never watched any sports on television and only attended baseball games when my father needed a companion. The art of performance led me to experience the racetrack as live theater.

     The racetrack is a stage, the jockeys are the actors, and the men and women that fill the bleachers, the picnic grounds, the Turf Club, and the private boxes are the audience. The racehorse is the star celebrity.

     The tickets for admission, like any show, are based on your seating. You can walk through the gates for $3.00 or buy a box for $100,000 a year. The collage of human emotions, drama, suspense, and danger are key components to good theater.

     Gambling personifies the Shakespearean twist of the racetrack. High rollers and drugstore cowboys wager to win. Some men walk out with a grocery cart of recycled cans; some walk out with enough money to buy a racehorse. They leave by the same gate, and the next day, they return for more. But why, I ask, is thoroughbred racing not considered an all-around American sport? Why donโ€™t jockeys get athletic respect? These two spheres of lightning truth struck me while I trampled through the mud one rainy August day at Saratoga Racetrack.

I asked around for opinions. The Governorโ€™s bodyguard remarked that it was a good question. He did not think gambling was the reason because people always bet on sports. He thought maybe that it was because, as kids, we donโ€™t learn to race horses, like baseball and football. The public is naรฏve about jockeys because they have never raced. Another answer I heard was that 200,000 fans fill a ballgame on any given day and that those numbers donโ€™t compare with horseracing.

     Iโ€™m not a gambler,  and I donโ€™t ride very well, but I am a drama whore. I took my notebook to the jocksโ€™ room to ask the jockeys what they thought about this irregularity in sports. Jose Santos had a few minutes to spare.

     โ€œJose, do you feel like America thinks of you as an athlete?โ€

     โ€œWe donโ€™t get the respect that we should. I think itโ€™s the gambling. This is the greatest racetrack in America, and there is gambling in every sport, but when you come to the track, you see it right there, and people cannot avoid it. Pound for pound, we are more fit than most athletes.โ€

     I asked Jose what he does aside from riding. He jogs three miles every day and walks for a mile. He reminded me that if he goes down with the horse, his strength is what gets him back up again. Another misconception is that jockeys only ride for 2 minutes. Well, the race is 2 minutes, but they ride every day of the year. They do not take breaks.

     โ€œHow does the public perceive you?โ€ I asked.

     โ€œIn Europe, they are treated like movie stars. Over here the jockey is just another person, and in sports, the jockey is low. I wish we had more respect, but we donโ€™t get the publicity.โ€

     This feels like the guts of the truth; our little minds like to align with other like minds. The leaders of the pack go to football and baseball, and the media follows behind.

     Jose remarked that he only felt real enthusiasm and support when he won the Triple Crown. Otherwise, they get a little column in the paper with the results. โ€œThe Racing Form is 100 pages, and nothing is written about us.โ€

     โ€œWhat if there was a Jockey Magazine?โ€

     โ€œWell, that would be great. Then, the companies would be interested, and weโ€™d get sponsors. When I go out to the park and run, I wear Nikes too.โ€ He chuckled.

    โ€œHave they ever approached you for sponsorship?โ€

    โ€œNo, I donโ€™t expect they will.โ€

 A few days later, I found Jerry Bailey before a race. It was a cinch to get into the jocksโ€™ room in those days. That was before Elliott Spitzer sipped all the fizz out of Saratoga Race Track. These days the Press canโ€™t walk inside the Jocksโ€™ room.  Jerry hopped onto a counter and extended his hand.

โ€œHow are you?โ€

โ€œGreat, Jerry, thank you for meeting me.โ€

โ€œSure.โ€

โ€œJerry, Iโ€™m very interested in the lack of sports sponsorship offered jockeys. Why do you think that is?

โ€œBecause no one is promoting us.  If you donโ€™t do anything to promote us, how does anyone know? They have bobbleheads and gimmicks like that, but there isnโ€™t even a Jockey Calendar. Excuse me now; Iโ€™ve got to ride a race.โ€

 Of all the risk-takers and entrepreneurs in the world, horse racing is the champion in all categories. If I decided to understand the business,  attend every race, meet every owner, jockey, and trainer, thereโ€™s no chance Iโ€™d understand anything more because I do not love the horse the way a jockey does, and you canโ€™t fool the horse!

   During the Hall of Fame Induction presentation at Saratoga a few years back, D. Wayne Lucas made a speech that drew a full house of gregarious applause. This is an excerpt:

 โ€œYou ride a great horse, and the owner wakes up the next day and decides to switch to Bailey. The adversity is gut-wrenching, bringing you to your knees and humbling, whether youโ€™re a rider, trainer, owner, or breeder. Thereโ€™s one thing that will keep you going, and that is simply your attitude. Attitude is the most important decision you make every day. Make it early, and make sure you make the right one. You will have a very full and very peaceful life.โ€

 Maybe itโ€™s time for a Jocks Nike, call it the Two Minute Nike. 

ย ย 

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      ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย  WW11 SURVIVOR’S VOW TO GOD ย 

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      Part Two.   Solana Beach Morrocan Bungalow 2003. Maurice was 84

                  Maurice married the love of his life on December 25, 1941. They married in December because Maurice had saved one thousand dollars and made one hundred dollars a month. Agnes, his girlfriend in Grant, Iowa, is the woman who led Maurice out to Rancho Santa Fe, California, from his home in Grant. She and her father worked for Ronald McDonald, a prestigious resident in the ranch. She was responsible for housekeeping and cooking, and her father was the chauffeur.  

                  Agnes and Maurice went to the US Grant Hotel for dinner and stayed at the Paris Inn on Kettner Avenue in San Diego.  The following day Agnes went off to work. Maurice stayed in the little guest house she occupied on the McDonald property. Two days later Maurice received his draft notice.  On December 31, he left his new bride and reported for duty in Escondido.   He had one short visit before he left for overseas.  Then, the next time he would see her, he would be changed. 

                  Buna

                  One summer evening, I was sitting on Mauriceโ€™s front porch.  Sometimes, we would sit out till after eight oโ€™clock at night talking about different parts of Mauriceโ€™s life. Maurice is really busy in the summer; he tends to his garden of fruits and vegetables, he delivers furniture for all the Cedros merchants, and he helps his friends.  He never seems tired, he likes to sit on the porch, have a beer, and tell stories. I used to like it when my father told me stories, but they were unlike Maurice’s. There didn’t seem to be anything he

      couldnโ€™t talk about. Once he said,  ” You can ask me anything you want.โ€

                  โ€œMaurice, how old were you when you were drafted?โ€

                  โ€œWell, I was thirty-one years old in 1941 when the war broke out. I had to leave my wife, which bothered me, but I wanted to go overseas and fight for my country. There were so many nice soldiers, the best people in the world.  I recall two boys from Chicago that were only eighteen years old, they lied to get in the service, and they were the best soldiers you ever saw- they werenโ€™t afraid of anything.โ€

                  โ€œWhere did they send you after you left San Diego?โ€

                  โ€œWell, first, I went to Camp Roberts for thirteen weeks of training, but I got out in nine weeks. Then they sent me to Fort Ord to get my gear, rifles, and clothes.  We left San Francisco on April 21, 1942.  We got into Adelaide, Australia, after twenty-one days at sea.”  Maurice paused like he had to catch his breath. I watched his face, thinking he may want to stop.

                  โ€œYou remember so much… Do you mind talking about it?โ€ I asked.

                  โ€œNo, I don’t mind; it changed my life, everything about it.โ€

                   โ€œWhere did they send you after that?โ€

                  โ€œWe trained for a while in Adelaide; the people in Australia were so happy to see us.  I remember they met us at the beach with tea and cookies. The enemy soldiers were getting close.  We went up the coast to New Guinea and into Port Moresby; we got there on Thanksgiving Day 1942. As soon as we got off the ship, the bombs hit us; it was the hundredth raid that night. The next morning we were supposed to get to the Stanley

      Mountain range, we were in such a hurry. The Japanese soldiers built cement pillboxes and the army wanted us there. So we got in this plane, and they flew us there. Twenty-one at a time.      When I got to the island of Buna, there were dead soldiers scattered all over the beach.  We lost men so fast.  Then, on Christmas Day of 1942, General McArthur ordered us to advance, regardless of the cost of lives.  My division was one of the first to stop the Japanese army, the 32nd Division. After we were immobilized and a lot of our men killed, they sent in the 41st Division to take over.โ€

                   Maurice’s memory was like listening to a documentary, and this was the first time a Veteran confided in me.  They didn’t get supplies at first; they had to wait till everything was shipped to Europe. They got what was left over, which wasn’t much. He ate cocoanut bark for two weeks and had no water.

                  โ€œI can remember so well the first Japanese soldier  I saw. He was sneaking through the jungle, only thirty feet off.  I donโ€™t know if I shot him, but he dropped.  I donโ€™t like to think I killed anyone, and it bothers me to this day that I had to kill. The Japanese were good soldiers; they had better ammunition than us.  We fought all day, and we always ran out of ammunition before they did. Iโ€™ll never forget Christmas Day of 1942.  We went into a trench to get ahead; the fellow ahead of me was cut wide open, and the guy behind was shot.  I just lay there on the ground. If you moved you’d be shot. It was so bad; I lay there all day and night. โ€

                  โ€œDid you think you were going to die?โ€

                  โ€œI didnโ€™t let myself think that.  I promised God that if I ever got out alive I’d never complain about anything in my life again. Nothingโ€ฆ nothing could be worse than that day.” 

                  โ€œYou kept the promise, didnโ€™t you?โ€ I asked.

                  โ€œYes, I have.โ€

                  โ€œAnd thatโ€™s why the war changed your life?โ€ I said.

                  โ€œThatโ€™s right. Every day is a beautiful day after you’ve lived through war, at least for me,” he said.        

      Excerpt from manuscript.  All rights reserved. No part of this work covered by the copyright herein may be reproduced without the author’s prior written permission.

      CASEY, A WOMAN OF SECRETS


      CASEY, A WOMAN OF SECRETS

      Sometimes, a blank piece of paper is the only way to begin, as it is today. I look out the window at blooming trees and a cupful of flowers rising from the ground. The sky is pale grey, and it is just fifty degrees.ย  May, my birthday month, reminds me of Casey, who threw the dice all her life. She gambled on her dreams.

      Casey never told me much about herself.ย  She lived in the present moment and considered her past a private matter. ย Once I learned of her struggles as a young woman and her chosen life, she became more real than when Iโ€™d known her. ย During the years we were friends, she handed out selected stories, abruptly, with final endings. Being the inquisitive character, the shallowness of her stories bated me. ย I had to pry the truth out from other people who had known her, and from government documents.

      Caseyโ€™s first gamble was at sixteen years old. She sent in a photograph of herself for the Redbook Magazine modeling contest. If sheโ€™d won, the Powers Modeling Agency in New York City would grant her an audition as a model.ย  Casey lived with her mother and sister in East Orange, New Jersey. Her father had died suddenly, leaving the family without a financier.ย  Her mother was lost without her husband and unsuited to join the workplace.ย  Casey didnโ€™t tell her mother about the contest until she received the letter of congratulations.

      John Robert Powers met Casey in his office on East 56th Street and signed her as a Powers Girl. She was stunning to look at, she was photographed like a movie star, and she was modest.ย  John Powers did not look for aggressive, pouty-lipped fearlessness.ย  ย  The Powers Girls were captioned Long Stemmed American Beauties because they were wholesome, beautiful, tasteful, courteous, and virtuous. They were so far from today’s runway models that it is almost a reversal of style.ย  The models of the thirties were ordained to set the highest example of classic good breeding and education. John not only schooled them in fashion, and individual taste, he instructed them in moral integrity, independence, and patriotism for their country. ย So Casey went to school at John Robert Powers and became one of the top ten models in the country.

      She was a blue-black-haired Irish beauty with emerald green eyes and perfect teeth. She stood only 5โ€™ 7โ€, but that was fairly standard in those days. When I knew her, she was still thin and beautiful, but she did not fuss about herself or spend much time at her vanity.ย  As a Powers model, Casey had a long line of gentlemen callers. Powers Girls were invited to all the nightclub and dinner show openings, sporting events, community galas, and fund-raisers.ย  Social engagements were part of her job. Casey was not a woman of idle chat, in fact a lot of people thought of her as restrained and unfriendly, maybe even snobbish. I think it was more secrecy. ย People were always prying into her life because it looked glamorous. ย But there was another side to that glamour she didnโ€™t want to put a mirror to.

      One evening, Casey had a dancing engagement at the Copacabana nightclub in New York City. She was on stage with other dancers when a gentleman noticed her.ย  The next chapter of Caseyโ€™s life began that night. ย At twenty-two years old, she fell in love with a man thirteen years older, of the Jewish faith, and who lived in Hollywood.ย  ย Casey never told me that she fell in love with a gangster.ย ย ย  I do know once she felt love for this man, it could not be reversed. The consequences of her love forced her to change and adapt to a new kind of life and different people.

      She did not bury or give back her love after she learned what he did for a living.ย  She asked him to reform his criminal activities, and he agreed if only she would marry him.ย  We all know at twenty-two, a woman believes she can change a man, and a man lets her think she can. ย Without that dream, many lovers would not have found their mates.

      Casey married her love and spent her life trying to keep her husband on track with honesty.ย  I met her husband just after he tried to reform and was beaten down by his past mistakes.ย  ย I called him Daddy.


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      STEPS AWAY FROM ADVENTURES IN LIVINGNESS


      ADVENTURES IN LIVINGNESS    

      Achievement knocked down the barrier of fear. It feels like lifting off from ground level; I am floating like I used to be in the swimming pool, and I am only at my desk reading the news from my attorney. From one beginning to an ending, five years later, after tedious research, unscrambling legal language, and searching for the meaning behind the case references, this journey is over. I won the lawsuit against the bank that attempted to foreclose on my home and Dodger, my ex-partner of thirty-five years, who, for still unknown reasons, pursued the foreclosure.

      Photo by Nataliya Vaitkevich on Pexels.com

       Agape, eyes widened, nerves settled like snowflakes; the joy of achievement cannot be understated. During this phantasmagoria, life beyond research, consulting with foreclosure agencies, banking laws, and regulations, I detached from my passion for adventure, creativity, parades, parties, and socializing; I sat alone, and resilience shadowed, then enflamed like a log of fire, encapsulated into a daily doctrine. Music by Ennio Morricone, blue note Jazz, the everchanging scenery of seasons, phone conversations with friends who released ambers of comfort, confidence, and advice, and TCM films nuzzled my fatigue.

       Some days, I remained in bed, staring at my Icart Ladies of Leisure prints, or sat by my favorite window seat and studied clouds, birds, and leaves. The blossom of tenacity grew into a tree trunk and taught me the art of persistence and emotional strength, which were missing links in my character.

      Achievement in fine-tuning relationships, setting down the needle gently instead of plummeting riffs and arguments. In the present, as you all know, if you read the news, our culture has replaced argument and debate with assault and violence.  I digress; renewed confidence in my aptitude to fight battles, disputes, and disappointments without Dodger is as solid as concrete.

      The next episodic internal journey is regaining my passion for opening the door to interaction with strangers and discovering newness in that engine of life. I hope this admission reaches others who are experiencing depriving themselves of love within and without.

      AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER IN TAOS,NM


      museum

      SILHOUETTE of a Taos night out in 2006. It begins with the sunsetโ€”a bubble-gum pink sash that swirls like taffy just above the distant hillside. The transcending forms and colors in the sky distract me; they silence me, keeping me from turning on the television or answering the phone.ย 

      Taos-sangre-de-christo-mountains-sunset

      The sunset has settled into my routine. I watch it from the roof garden over our Adobe Home and Gallery every night. ย In the midst of dressing to attend an art auction at the Millicent Rogers Museum, the sun has vanished. The sky turns Taos blue; a luminous oil pigment canvas blue that appears like an endless tunnel you can walk through. As I descend the staircase and cross over the mรฉnage of piles shoved in a corner to allow SC to paint, I think, โ€œThis is going to be my home. Iโ€™m still hereโ€ Adventures in Livingness

      In the courtyard where new flagstone has been laid, and a mud ditch blocks the exit, Rudy hitches me on his back and carries me out the side entrance through Tony Abeytaโ€™s yard. Tonyโ€™s yard is piled with sand from our flagstone project, and my high-heeled black suede shoes are not at all practical for crossing New Mexican dunes. This is how the evening begins.ย Out in the parking lot, we circle around once and stop in Robertโ€™s gallery. He has offered me his turquoise squash seed necklace to wear at the auction. The necklace is from Turkey, and sells for $1,800. Millicent Rogers events always attract women with extravagant jewelry, and Robert knows I have no such possessions. He hands me the necklace and says, have fun.

      At times like this, I can forget the faces and routines I lived in Solana Beach and feel swept into a labyrinth of unfamiliar vignettes. There are two police cars in the rear of the parking lot, the church looms like a fortress of wet mud, and SC is listening to The Band CD we picked up in Santa Fe. I slide into the car, ensuring my shoes donโ€™t fill with gravel.

      There is very little street light along the desert road, and cars approach you at disarming speeds. For newcomers, the pale yellow line that separates oncoming traffic, roaming animals, hitchhikers, leather-clad bikers, and abandoned pets is of no comfort or value. Boundaries and civilities between people are vague, and sometimes, conversations elope into poetry.ย 

      At the Millicent Rogers Museum, the director, Jill, who is there to welcome each guest, greets us at the carved wooden doors. This museum was once a home, like most museums in Taos.Each room is an envelope of Native American jewelry, ceramics, paintings, weaving, textiles, and metalwork sealed with Millicent Rogers’s ethereal presence. By coming to Taos and bridging her New York chic with southwestern individuality, she set global trends in fashion, art, and living.ย  he museum collection includes some of her designs that evolved from her residency in the desert. She moved here in 1947 and died here in 1953. Although she could have chosen anywhere in the world to live, she settled in the unaltered, surreal lunar beauty of Taos.

      I wandered through the tightly packed rooms, alternately viewing the guestโ€™s attire and jewelry. The woven wraps, belts, and hats worn by men and women form a collage of individual expression.ย Almost everyone seems to attract attention by the texture and color of his or her attire. It is a festive traditional look, with southwestern accessories paired with jeans or silk dresses.ย If you come to Taos, look for a belt buckle, one piece of Native American jewelry, and one piece of art.

      When the auction was announced, I admired the same etching as the woman next to me. She remarked that the artist was also the teacher of one of her children. I learned that Ellen had six children and 11 grandchildren. She was petite with curly blonde hair, and I liked her instantly. I told her I was a writer.

      โ€œSo am I,โ€ she answered.

      Rather than talk about her work, she began talking about her daughter, who is also a writer.

      โ€œIโ€™m so lucky–all my children and grandchildren are creative and artistic.โ€

      It was obvious that her life was a garden of earthly delights and that she had raised many roses. When the auction began, she vanished, and I quickly viewed the art before returning to the two etchings. They were both sold.

      As I was walking out, I bumped into Ellen. She was clutching the etchings.

      โ€œSo, you bought them,โ€ I said.

      โ€œOh, yes, I had to have them.โ€

      She left me with a beaming smile and a closing remark I often hear: โ€œWelcome to Taos.โ€

      I love hearing that so much I donโ€™t want to stop saying, I just moved here. After the auction, we stopped in Marcoโ€™s Downtown Bistro, where we joined an improvisational party. It started when Marco introduced us to his friends, Pablo and Joan, who were visiting from Santa Fe.

      The dim, glowing melon adobe walls of the bistro, Marco hugging everyone, Joanโ€™s melodious, high-pitched laughter, Pablo telling jokes, Rudy laughing, and then Philip arriving to tell stories crossed over from strangers in a bistro to a fast-rolling film. The conversation and laughter surfed breathlessly from one person to another.

      Joan remarked, โ€œMy fifteen minutes. This is the best for me. The first time you meet someone, you’re both talking without effort. Itโ€™s so perfect.โ€

      We closed the bistro past midnight. Marco had gone home. Joan decided to stay at a friendโ€™s house. Philip agreed to drive to Santa Fe the next day, and we took Tylenol before bed.

      Not every night out in Taos is like Joanโ€™s fifteen minutes, but chances are you will have something to write home about. The beginning of Gallery LouLou Taos, NM

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      MAFIA BOOKS FOR SALE


      BOOKS FOR SALE FROM MY RESEARCH COLLECTION. BASED IN NEW YORK. PREFERRED SALE OF FIVE OR MORE. HARDBACK $14.00 SB $6.00 + MEDIA MAIL. INDIVIDUAL PHOTOS ON REQUEST.

       Luellen Smiley โ€“ Some book sections are highlighted but otherwise in good condition. Bugsy Siegel’s book, Mr. Mob & King of the Sunset Strip, sold.

      1. THE BATTLE FOR LAS VEGAS SB  – DENNIS GRIFFIN
      2.  BUT HE WAS GOOD TO HIS MOTHER –  SB R. ROCKAWAY
      3. ย 
      4. MOTOR CITY MAFIA SB – SCOTT  M. BURSTEIN
      5. THE BOYS FROM NEW JERSEY SB โ€“ ROBERT RUDOLPH
      6. CHICAGO HB- DAVID MAMET
      7. DOUBLE CROSS- HB SAM & CHUCK GIANCANA
      8. GANGSTERS AND GOODFELLAS HB AS TOLD BY GUSS RUSSO
      9. THE STARKER HB โ€“ JACK ZELIG ROSE KEEFE
      10. MOBBED UP  HB – JAMES NEFF
      11. BOUND BY HONOR HB –  BILL BONNANO
      12. THE PUBLIC ENEMY  SB โ€“ HENRY COHEN SCRIPT
      13. NAZIS IN NEWARK SB- WARREN GROVER
      14. THE VALACHI PAPERS  PETER MAAS
      15. BLOOD RELATION SB – ERIC KONICSBERG 
      16. THE OUTFIT SB โ€“ GUSS RUSSO
      17. TOUGH JEWS โ€“ SB RICH COHEN
      18. THE MAFIA MURDER OF JFK CONTRACT ON AMERICA-HB DAVID SCHEIM
      19. ORGANIZED CRIME HB โ€“ PAUL LINDE
      20. CAPONE HB- JOHN KOLER
      21. LITERARY LAS VEGAS  SB -The best writing about Americaโ€™s Finest City  MIKE TRONNES 
      22. HONOR THY FATHER SB  –  ( MY DADโ€™S) GAY TELESE
      23. MURDER INC SB BURTON TURKAS โ€“ SID FEDER
      24.           THE LAST MAFIAOSO HB –  OVID DEMARIS
      25. ALL AMERICAN MAFIOSO SB- THE JOHNNY ROSELLI STORY  CHARLES RAPPLEYE & ED BECKER. SIGNED.

                                            PICTORIAL BOOKS

      FABULOUS LAS VEGAS HB โ€“ MICHELE FERRARI  STEVEN IVES

      ORGANIZED CRIME- PLAYBOYS PICTORIAL HISTORY HB  RICHARD HANNER


      FEBRUARY 3RD 2024 EXCERPTโ€‚FROM A NOVEL IN PROGRESS

      ย .

      ย After weeks of metallic gray, the sun broke through, decorating Greta’s room. She is recovering on her bed, floating in Jazz instrumental music, remote in hand and undecided about what to watch. Last night, she socialized at her two taverns’, chatting with Weeds, a man with pockets full, which he offered Greta. For the next thirty minutes, he unplugged a breathless dialogue without inviting Greta, and she knew he was so lit up that he was unflustered when Greta said, ‘ Maybe take a break and eat your food.’ He continued to disentangle his weekly activities, what he thought about the waitress, some local gossip about the bartender who had been fired, where he grew up, and his wife’s battle with lung cancer. โ€˜ I am so sorry for you both.’ He thanked her and then sealed his tรชte-ร -tรชte as he ate. Greta took this moment to bid farewell and crossed to the other tavern for crab fritters. The bar was uncluttered, and she sank into the stillness. Her mood flicked into an irritableness, a discourse with the state of her life. The resurgence of the weekโ€™s disputes, mishaps, and the approaching day she would be moving, and still directionless. It wasn’t until she was home, swathed in five blankets that she overcame the anxiety until she couldn’t find her phone. She searched all the prominent places, the car, kitchen, entry, and bedroom. โ€˜ โ€˜Oh, for the love of God, I left it at the tavern. How humiliating. Maybe Iโ€™ll find it in the morning.โ€™ Over the last few days, she has practiced positivity, rearranging her thoughts like a chess board; instead of choosing fear and remorse, she repeated every morning, I’ve come this far; what could be worse than the last five years.

      REVIEW ON MY MEMOIR CRADLE OF CRIME-A DAUGHTER’S TRIBUTE


      Editorial Reviews.

      This a refreshing, wonderful story in the fact that I got to see the unfolding of Allen Smiley and Ben Siegelโ€™s story through the eyes of Allen Smileyโ€™s daughter. I got to see the point of view of someone who personally knew Allen Smiley, the other side of him: the family man and her reactions to discovering her fatherโ€™s past, secrets, and how people viewed her father and the Mafia. To my delight, the author also included journals and files relating to the criminal speculations of Ben Siegelโ€™s murder which helped shape the bookโ€™s framework. I felt like a detective myself as I read through the story and found out more and more about her fatherโ€™s other life.