Friends are bookends that bind our stories; some novellas, some poems, some cinematic, each friend ย serves as a bookend to our personal history.ย When Iโve lost my way and need direction my friends motorize me like a little engine, and when I fly without wings, they ring the bell to come down to earth. At times, arguments arise, and my friendships stray, but true-life friends never leave you behind. Sometimes, years may pass, and then one day, you get a call or an email or send one yourself,. The flushing of that particular squabble in history vanishes. You can start anew; at the same time, it is not.
The essence of friendship never burns out. It is our galaxy, celestial agility. Are you experiencing a startling outpouring from friends whoโve left your life only to suddenly show up on your social media or a personal email? Are your friends calling and writing more often?ย I’m constantly examining some unfamiliar events in life, a new trend, a cultural change. ย Seems like every topic can be mixed with politics, sometimes the mixture is explosive. Iโve halted the political discussions, and so have my friends, as they are more critical to my livingness than politics.
PHOTO CREDIT PHILIP TOWNSEND. The first time the Beatles met the Maharajah.
Sunday thinking: future, plan, prepare, implement. What if I go West, East, North, or South? One at a time. I use it a lot; itโs my mascot, mental disability. If I got over it, I would delete it from wherever it rose.
It reminds me of Rudyard Kipling’s If Poem. I am fearless one day and fearful the next, a collage of paradoxical thoughts. Emotions are my yellow brick road and also the vouchers of the victim. Iโve never been an A student of defensive tools; my acquiescence serves my need to be approved, which is so annoying.
I am not going back to childhood experiences; that cathartic tunnel has been examined, and approval and cherishing is the pillow of my contentment.
By MARTIN ZEILIG On the evening of June 20, 1947, less than six months after he opened the Flamingo Hotel-Casino in Las Vegas, Ben โBugsyโ Siegel died in a barrage of bullets through the front windows while sitting on a couch in his Beverly Hills mansion at 810 Linden Drive. Assassinated at the age of 41, Siegel was one of the USAโs most notorious gangsters. A former Winnipegger, Al Smiley (1907-1984) was with Siegel that evening. โMy dad was seated inches away from Siegel, on the sofa, and took three bullets through the sleeve of his jacket,โ said Luellen Smiley, a creative non-fiction writer, award-winning newspaper columnist, and Mob historian who lives in Sante Fe, New Mexico. She consented to an interview with The Jewish Post & News earlier this winter. โHe was brought in as a suspect. His photograph was in all the newspapers,โ said Luellen. โHe was the only nonfamily member who had the guts to go to the funeral.โ So who was Al Smiley? Born in Kiev, Ukraine in 1907 as Aaron Smehoff, Smiley and his family โ father Hyman, mother Anne, sister Gertrude (who became a school teacher and lived in Winnipeg until her death many decades later), brothers Samuel and Benjamin โ immigrated to Winnipeg when he was five, said Luellen Smiley, during a recent telephone interview with this reporter from her home in Sante Fe, New Mexico. โMy grandfather was a kosher butcher and delicatessen owner,โ she continued, noting that the family home and butcher shop was located at 347 Aberdeen Avenue. โHe maintained an Orthodox household and expected that his eldest son would become a rabbi. But, my father was rebellious and interested in sports, especially hockey.โ This caused conflict between the willful youth and his rigid, religious father. So, the teenager fled Winnipeg for greener pastures in Detroit, Michigan via Windsor, Ontario in 1923. He got a job travelling with the Ringling Brothers Circus and ended up in California where he was arrested for a drugstore robbery in San Francisco and sent to Preston Reformatory School in Ione, California, Luellen noted. โIt was there that he met legendary movie director Cecil B. DeMille,โ she said. โHe was doing some sort of research for a movie. My father asked him for a job in the movie industry upon his release, and DeMille agreed. He found my dad work in a wardrobe department. He later became a property man, then a grip, the person in charge of production on a set, and eventually a producer.โ He befriended celebrities like George Raft, Eddie Cantor, Clark Gable, Lauren Bacall, along with such gangster associates as Ben Siegel. โIโm pretty sure Dad met Ben through George Raft,โ Luellen Smiley speculated. With Siegelโs help he opened a nightclub in L.A. sometime in the late 1930s. Smiley would later tell his daughter that Siegel was โthe best friend I ever had.โ In her soon-to-published memoir, excerpts of which she agreed to let this newspaper print, Luellen Smiley reveals the conflicted feelings she had growing up, and into later life too, about her father: โSome children are silenced. The pretense is protection against people and events more powerful than them. As the daughter of Allen Smiley, associate and friend to Benjamin โBugsyโ Siegel, I was raised in a family of secrets. โMy father is not a household name like Siegel, partly because he wore a disguise, a veneer of respectability that fooled most. It did not fool the government. โWhen I was exposed to the truth by way of a book, I kept the secret, too. I was 13. My parents divorced, and five years later, my mother died. In 1966, I went to live with my father in Hollywood. I was forbidden to talk about our life: โDonโt discuss our family business with anyone, and listen very carefully to what I say from now on!โ But one night, he asked me to come into his room and he told me the story of the night Ben was murdered. โWhen I was spared death, I made a vow to do everything in my power to reform, so that I could one day marry your mother. โBen was the best friend I ever had. Youโre going to hear a lot of things about him in your life. Just remember what I am telling you; heโd take a bullet for a friend. โAfter my father died, I remained silent, to avoid shame, embarrassment and questions. But 10 years later, in 1994, when I turned 40, I cracked the silence. I read every book in print โ and out of print โ about the Mafia. Allen Smiley was in dozens. He was a Russian Jew, a criminal, Bugsyโs right-hand man, a dope peddler, pimp, a racetrack tout. I held close the memory of a benevolent father, wise counselor, and a man who worshipped me. โI made a Freedom of Information Act request and obtained his government files. The Immigration and Naturalization Service claimed he was one of the most dangerous criminals in the country. They said he was Benjamin Siegelโs assistant. They said he was poised to take over the rackets in Los Angeles. He didnโt; he sold out his interest in the Flamingo, and he went to Houston to strike oil. I put the file away, and looked into the window of truth. How much more could I bear to hear? โHe stowed away to America at 16, and was eventually doggedly pursued for never having registered as an alien. He had multiple arrests โ including one for bookmaking in 1944, and another for slicing off part of the actor John Hallโs nose in a fracas at Tommy Dorseyโs apartment. He met my mother, Lucille Casey, at the Copacabana nightclub in 1943. She was onstage, dancing for $75 a week, and my father was in the audience, seated with Copa owner and mob boss Frank Costello. โโI took one look, and I knew it was her,โ was all he had told me on many occasions. โOn a trip to the Museum of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences in Los Angeles, I was handed a large perfectly pristine manila envelope, and a pair of latex gloves with which to handle the file. Inside were black and white glossy MGM studio photographs, press releases, and biographies of my motherโs career in film, including roles in โThe Secret Life of Walter Mitty,โ โZiegfeld Follies of 1946,โ โMeet Me in St. Louisโ and โHarvey Girls.โ She was written up in the columns, where later my father was identified as a โsportsman.โ The woman who pressed my clothes, washed my hair, and made my tuna sandwiches was an actress dancing in Judy Garland musicals, while her own life was draped with film noir drama. โMy father wooed her, and after an MGM producer gave her an audition, he helped arrange for her and her family to move to Beverly Hills, where she had steady film work for five years. He was busy helping Siegel expand the Western Front of the Costello crime family and opening the Flamingo casino in Las Vegas. They were engaged in 1946. โStill, the blank pages of my motherโs life did not begin to fill in until I met R.J. Gray. He found me through my newspaper column, โSmileyโs Dice.โ โOne day last year, R.J. sent me a book, โImages of America: The Copacabana,โ by Kristin Baggelaar. There was my mother, captioned a โCopa-beauty.โ Kristin organized a Copa reunion in New York last September. I went in place of my mother, but all day I felt as if she was seated next to me. I fell asleep that night staring out the hotel window, feeling a part of Manhattan history. โNow, the silence is over. I donโt hesitate to answer questions about my family. I have photographs of Ben Siegel in my home in Santa Fe, NM, just as my father did. Every few months I get e-mails from distant friends, or people who knew my dad. โIt seems there is no end to the stories surrounding Ben and Al. I am not looking for closure. Iโve become too attached to the story. To me, he was a benevolent father, a wise counselor, and a man who worshipped me.โ Luellen Smiley can be contacted via email: folliesls@aol.com
HOW ONE SOLDIER CHANGED THE COMMUNITY OF SOLANA BEACH, CA
For many of us, the idea of aging is frightening. We have been led to believe it brings pain, loneliness, and idle time for regressing mentally. Remedies, products, prescriptions, and escapes offer youthful looks, energy, and vitality. The thought of aging is brutal; we pretend we can buy youth. What if you met a man who told you he could do everything today, at eighty-four, that he did all his life without injections, medicine, special diet, or specific training?
What if I told you all his family, including his brothers, mother, and father, is gone? His wife died twenty years ago. That he lives alone and is not lonely. He claims he is the happiest man in the world. Would you want to meet him? He wants to meet you. He would like to be everyoneโs neighbor. He has much to teach in a country of strangers about meeting neighbors and making friends. We who know proclaim him an inspiration, a legend, an angel. And to that, he always replies, โIโm just a regular guy.โ
Maurice Roberts has lived in Solana Beach since 1936, and his recollections of the area are intact. I recorded his history and began writing everything down. Next week, I will startthe first in a series of historical perspectives.
I won the 4.5-year lawsuit against the bank’s foreclosure of my Follies House. She will sell at market value. I toast with my FB friends, who hung in as I wedged against impossible odds with your patience and comfort. !!!!!!. The photo is from 2000 when we bought her. An enormous hug to my real estate broker, Scott Varley (aka Superman), and my attorney, who had educated and believed in me when I did not!
My memoir, published in 2017, Cradle of Crime-A Daughter’s Tribute is old news to me. Not to Charlie. I met him as he was renovating a house across the street. I didn’t introduce myself as Luellen Smiley, just Luellen. I asked if he would take a look at myhouse for an estimate on painting. He was sweet, a mountain man with a long white beard and hunting boots. Last week, he texted me,” I read your book, my friend and I exchanged Goodreads suggestions, and I told him to read your book.” How did he connect me to my book? I didn’t ask, and now it piques my interest. I’d walk across the street and ask him, his truck is there, so is the ice, and I don’t feel like skating and falling on my butt.
Winter in upstate New York to a gal from Los Angeles is likened to living in the North Pole. Going on five years, my last, I’m not resentful and scouring, but I am not acclimated. Indoors I dress in sherpa from head to toe and wear those finger mittens. Today it is full-throttle rain showers. The street is vacated of traffic and the public, it’s a good day to work on my next book. On my desk area few writing books, the favorites: Henry Miller on Writing, The Diaries of Anais Nin, and Albert Camus’s The Stranger. I haven’t bought a current book in years, the last one was Sam Shepard, The One Inside. I like Miller’s passage: ” The writer lives between the upper and lower worlds.: he takes the path in order eventually to become that path himself.”
Aging in my seventies delivered opening windows to restoring, rearranging, and repairing my persona, personally and in public. If you’ve read any of my essays, then you know explicit is the vortex that moves my thread. Restoring the brick-and-mortar of truth is at the forefront; the next layer is a confession of what I cannot speak in person to anyone, even my closest pals. The third is abstaining from too swift a pen; I’m always in a hurry: I prepare food quickly, walk as if I’m late for an engagement, and wash dishes with perfunctory interest. Everything when I think about it. I know why that is, my father.โHis shadow was always behind me as I went about myteenage activities at home, so I rushed to get out.
Last week, I stopped taking the powerful Lorzapam medication for neurotic anxiety. My heart raced when I opened an email from my attorney, when a stranger knocked at the door, or when I entered a public place alone. A new sideways rain shower just filled the window pane above my desk. Here is the fourth restorative: get outdoors! I don’t walk in snow or ice, but good old water rain, which I call God’s tears, is one of my favorite nature adventures.
Admittedly, my writing has granulated since moving here. It is tiny in thought and not always tied up neatly. My persona in public needs to be side by side with wine in a dining setting. What I contribute must be joyous and humorous because one of my favorite human activities is to evoke laughter and smiles. I broke away from my taverns and abstained from alcohol for a week. In the second week, visceral and bodily alarms have gone off. Iโm lucid, motivated, andeven decisive.
From Anais Nin Diaries 1939-1944.
“I respond to intensity, but I also like reflection to follow action, for then understanding is born, and understanding prepares me for the next act.”
Greta got into bed early and started watching Feud, a new series about Bette Davis and Joan Crawford, played by Jessica Lang and Susan Sarandon. The film etches overcoming a middle-aged woman’s obstacles in life: men, finances, rejection, and loneliness.
A knocking at the door, ‘Oh no, I don’t want to see anyone.’
โPolice, open up.โ You couldn’t cut her tension with a semi-truck head-on. She opened the door to five male Policeman and a Medic.
โ Greta we are here because someone is very concerned about your welfare. I understand you made a reference to taking your own life.โ
โ Who called you? It was Aaron right?โ
โYes. He said you made a remark that disturbed him and he wanted us to check on you. Did you say you wanted to take your own life?โ
“Not in the way he interpreted. I’m not going to commit suicide I just need a break from tortuous gaslighting.”
” Who is gaslighting you?”
” My ex-partner of thirty-five years and his demonic girlfriend.
“How can you resolve this?”
โI donโt know, Iโm trapped.โ Then I noticed they were not convinced.
โI think you should come with us for an evaluation.โ
โNo, thatโs not necessary, Really, look at me. Iโm enjoying a movie. ” Greta got back on the bed in a gesture of defiance.
โWe think it is.โ We have an ambulance out front.
โWhat? Oh God. No, Iโm not going.โ
โYou donโt have a choice. It wonโt take long, if the Physiatrist thinks you are not in danger theyโll release you.โ
โIโm not going in the ambulance.โ
โOkay, you can ride with me in the patrol car.โ
“Well, let me put on some lipstick. A girl can’t go to the Psychiatric Ward without lipstick.”’ They smiled, and in her pajamas and robe, she slid down into the back seat of the Patrol car avoiding neighbors’ observance.
The ward was a take-off of One Flew Over the Cuckooโs Nest. One woman was shaking and mumbling herself out of a drug withdrawal, the nurses were telling jokes, one man was in a hospital gown striding up and down the corridor, talking to himself and Greta seated on a chair watched. In the distance, she recognized Lally, a potential renter of her home.
” Lally, can you come over a minute?”
โ How are you? Whatโs going on?โ
โ Oh God, I said the wrong thing to a friend, and he called 911.”
โ Iโm sorry to hear that. Are you here for evaluation?โ
โYeah, can you do it?โ
โ No, I’m assisting in another department. Don’t worry… I’ll talk to the Physiatrist so you get through quickly. Itโll be fine. Just wait here.โ
I thanked him and ten minutes later I was led into a private room with bars on the bed. A nurse took my vitals, then a Doctor asked a few questions like,’ What day is it?’ and then she left without adding anything very comforting. Another knock on the open door and a petite female tiptoed in. She infused sincerity and concern into that bleak sanitary room, and I opened up the story from start to finish. She used expression, voice, and patience to keep me talking. She didn’t inflame the rage against Dodger, she suggested I find counseling and asserted that I was indeed in a very traumatic situation. ‘ I will call the the department supervisor and suggest you be released.’
The six hours Greta was in the hospital centered on the absence of a phone call or email from Dodger. Aaron must have told him to get the address. Itโs about two am and Greta is thinking about her birthday; another sort of mรฉnage of meaning, she feels like ten years have passed rather than one. Another doctor came in and released Greta, with a promise to call for counseling. She slipped into a cab in her pajamas and went home. Never had been so terrified of losing control.
The next afternoon brightened when Audrey showed up with roses, champagne, a gift basket, and a happy birthday balloon. She sang the entire birthday song and danced around Greta as she opened the gifts.
โIt is a big deal! I always was taught to celebrate friends’ birthdays with everything,โ her smile remained and Greta’s surfaced. She told her the story of the previous night and Audrey just sat there, eyes widened like two camera lenses, and told her. “I know you would never commit suicide.‘โShe cradled Greta as they walked downtown for dinner. One of her gifts was five hundred dollars. Greta was so stunned she tried to return it, but Audrey blatantly resisted. At our dining table, she waved at guests and waiters with her long arms, โItโs her birthday.โ She reminded Greta of her childhood when her father hired magicians and clowns to entertain at her parties. Greta felt sensationally spoiled, and thatโs not always an indulgence, sometimes it is the only path to joy. The end of the evening placed her in front of Facebook where friends posted birthday wishes. It was a blessed day and a reminder that she is loved. Aaron was trying to help, and Greta felthis concern with appreciation. There is no replacement to cure your mental doubts than a visit to the Physiatriscat Ward.
Six years later, upright, achieved, and grateful for that day.
VULNERABLE…. weakness and emotionally exposed, failure. Otherwise the moment of courage to rise and understand our fragility without self-degrading,. Excerpt from Rabbi at Temple Ebet Emeth.
Page 525. Terrified to post this but it is Sunday and I’m brave on Sunday. The book is fiction, first-person, and close third person so you’ll need a jogging suit to read. Based on true events.
Greta let the moment of the village rescue stay with her, like a new pet for as long as she could hold on to its beneficial ointment, away from what she calls her immersion into self. She gives me examples that illustrate her obsession with matching outfits in her closet.
Itโs a bedroom she converted into a dressing room. Thereโs a single bed against one wall, a cabinet where she stores the winter boots, and an eight-drawerFrench nouveau dresser and mirror. She sits on a chair facing the windows so she can watch the trees live through sun, wind, rain, and snow. Across from the chair is the bed. She diligently arranged her summer pastel skinny jeans on the bed, and next to that row she arranged the T-shirts, camisoles, and shorts. Itโs quite practical considering Greta as she has admitted to me half a dozen times, that she was born without common sense or practicality. At the base of the bed, she lined up her shoes, the slip-ons, the flats, the pumps stuffed with tissue paper to preserve their shape, and the wedges. After a breach of sanity, she goes into this room and visualizes outfits and color matching like someone might play chess. โ It does have a purpose, this way I visualize without wrangling with hangers and you know it just takes too much time when youโre in a closet.
‘”These days I look at them as if they belonged to someone else, I mean the red suede with gold heels that I wore on a New Yearโs Eve of gaiety and not since, the black velvet pumps that always make me feel dainty and light. What care I give to all these garments when in the other part of the house, Dodger was descending into a financial coma.”
ย Greta did not acknowledge the few months before his departure that he was riddled with abject unfulfilling tasks, bills, and construction jobs that no longer fed him purpose and accomplishment. She did not notice that his slacking posture on the front porch, head lowered and staring out without any body movement was a sign, she in fact despised it and walked away. ย In the last few months, all of this seemed to rise up like a curtain before a play, in a theater and she witnessed his insolence and his silent howl for help. ย
The irony of her activity is that she doesn’t go to the events that she plans on going to wear the outfits.
This is a previous post (2011) that I am re posting for new readers.
MY FAMILYย history was brought to life in an unpublished memoir.ย ย The stories lived on during a long arduous journey of research and trying to get published.ย ย Sometimes I read pages to get close to my parents.ย I squeeze in between them like a ghost, hear their voices, and see their expressions.ย If I remove the outside world, the hum of the hotel air-condoning , the delivery trucks, and speeding motorcycles,ย I can remember swimming in the pool with my mother.ย I see her bathing cap strap pulled down across her chin, her red lipstick, and her one-piece strapless bathing suit. I can see her freckles, and her long slender arms backstroking as she swam.
Early in 1960 my father decided to build a swimming pool in the backyard of our house on Thurston Circle.ย I had just completed swimming lessons and asked my father for a pool. Years later he told the story: โMy little girl asked for a pool, and I built her one.โย ย I think he built the pool for my mother.ย ย He was under investigation with the FBI and Department of Justice, and spent most days in court defending himself against a deportation order to Russia.ย ย Subpoenas, arrests, and trials were routine events that tied my parents together against a world of misunderstanding.ย After eleven years of nail biting suspense, my mother just wore out.ย The pool was built with the intention of removing my motherโs anxiety and sadness.ย ย My father designed the shape of the pool around the original pool at the Garden of Allah, a highly scandalous Hollywood hotel apartment that attracted starlets and gangsters in the early 30โs.ย I know this tiny detail from photographs Iโve seen of the Garden pool.ย ย More obscure details surrounding the building of our pool were found reading his FBI files.
My father accused the pool contractor of being an informant for the government. ย One sunny afternoon he marched him out of the house. I was hiding behind a drape when the confrontation broke out. ย I recall the big shouldered contractor running from my fatherโs threats. ย Most likely an FBI agent was parked outside and ย followed the man after he scampered out.
The pool was finally completed in mid 1961.ย ย There are photographs of my mother and I in the pool; her smile is radiant and naturally composed.ย She and I swam everyday.ย My fatherย loved to swim too, but he was busy with court proceedings and meetings.ย Before the year ended my mother filed for divorce, the house burnt down, and I was released from childhood. I donโt regret those events any longer.ย They were steps that shaped my character, and what brings me back to the topic of growing up with gangsters.
The best memories of my childhood are in swimming pools and restaurants with gangsters and gamblers.ย They were part of the family, and when they were around my father was on very good behavior, and my mother defenseless against their irresistible humor, pranks, and generosity.ย ย She just sort of glided in and out of activities, and helped me ride the vibrations.ย ย She didnโt laugh out of herself like I do, and she rarely yelled.ย ย The older I get, the less I seem to be like her.ย Maybe the passage of life experiences determines which parent you will take after. Had I married and had children, maybe Iโd be more like her. Since I get into all kinds of tricky situations, and throw the dice, I need my fatherโs strength more.
Over the years, I have forgotten some of the dead reckoning discoveries I made about our family history.ย Still nothing compares to reading about my Aunt Gertie.ย She was my fatherโs sister. Until I read about her in the FBI file, I didnโt know she existed. I havenโt figured out why my father left her out of our life. According to the FBI files she was a remarkably loyal sister. Gertie was the one who confronted the federal agents when they arrived at the family home in Winnipeg, Canada.ย She pushed my grandmother out of the interview, and spoke for the family.ย The agents showed her a recent photograph of my father.ย ย She told them that her brother left home when he was twelve and they had not seen him since. ย She could not verify the identity of the photograph because almost twenty years had passed.ย The agents left without any evidence and continued to search for the birthplace of my father. Every time he was arrested, he entered a different birthplace.ย He named Chicago, New York, Detroit, and Los Angeles.ย His origins were discovered through a letter that his mother had written when he was fifteen and confined to a boys reformatory.ย The letter was turned over to the FBI, and that is how they discovered his parents lived in Winnipeg.ย The government could not deport my father to Russia without verification from his family. Eventually my father won the battle. He was granted citizenship in 1966, two weeks after my mother died.
Gertie died after my father. I donโt know if they corresponded over the years.ย I have learned enough about my father to know he was protecting her from further harassment.ย Maybe if my father lived longer they would be coming after me.
After Iย published this last story,ย I spoke with White Zen, my palgal in Santa Fe.ย She said the last paragraph of the story made her cry.ย Juxtaposed between the writers Zen of exporting such feeling, and the sadness we both shared. White Zen had a Thinker too. I guess there are more of them than I knew.
Having had six true loves in my life, who impregnated me with knowledge generosity, and loyalty is what made me so unprepared for the Thinker.ย He does resemble Macedonio;ย the first man to peel off the woman in me. They both have charisma, mystery, and good dark looks,ย Macedonio is dead now, and the memories of him still glisten;ย like the day in Golden Gate Park under the cherry blossom tree.
What I miss most, is the giggling, dancing, folly-maker that the Thinker pulled out of me as If I were a puppet. He called me Puppet because that’s how he saw me.ย I’ve got to get my Jojo by tomorrow. I love Thanksgiving as a day with admissions of selfishness and greed. I need to be washed away into thanks that I am here with a mouthful full of food, and a napkin.
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