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GUEST POEM BY SOARING CROW


“Message in a Bottle”

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Floating forever, on the tides of a thousand seas…..
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With the lives of the oceans, and all that dwell unseen…..
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Deep in the abyss, a multitude of eyes see unheard…..
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yet from the fingers of a writer, there echos forth some words……………
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Words of expression, artistic and true…..
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Deep in her mind, she writes who is who…..
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With an internal calling, writing creative and free…..
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That enlightens the Worlds, of both you and me…..
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Her thoughts they are written, of magic and spells…..
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Just open that bottle, she has a story to tell……
ย 
ย 
from an admirer of your works

SHARE, PUBLICIZE, COMMENT, AND RESPOND TO BLOGGERS


IF YOU DON’T SHARE YOU DON’T CARE.
I’ve just started recommending a few of my wordpress pals, and their writings. I still resist the word blogging because it sounds like slobbing. Web writers are amazingly talented, from all over the world, and all ages. I’ve learned about the cultures through their stories from: India, Russia, Brazil, Ireland, Scotland, Europe, and the Middle East.

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SHARE THE ROAD TO WRITING

ADVENTURES WITH THE TIDE OF THE THINKER


Audrey. Photograph By Edward Quinn

I asked the sky to send the Thinker.ย  Then itย  rained in southwest furry,ย  small 22A65Ca5ndFhXTcktfb98jnckTJl4rZP0060[1]white knots of hail and dark feuding winds. The thinker heard and whistled to me. It was a sweet flutist tone, and he appeared in black and grey, the silver lining of his head like a crown of light. Flashing the boyish grin, he opened his wrestling toned-warm fins to my goose bumpy arms, and I swam along side tentatively. Even though it was my chime, I was unsteady, unwilling to climb on his back, so we swam on our toes, around my house, and the Plaza. We battled sharks from Beverly Hills, whose fins were frozen from love and kindness; we faced one of our own school, who would not lend a dollar on good faith and loyalty for their Merlot Cabernet fish oil, and we strung pearls around each other necks, with a clasp that is easily unhooked. The current drove us through three more days of rowing backward, sleeping quietly without intertwinement, and meeting as friends instead of lovers.
The absence of touch, struck like a lightning storm. I didnโ€™t see it coming, and I may be wrong. To read the Thinker is to understand his language; a circumcision of predictability, logic, or reasoning. Like a tsunami, uncharitable waves of enlightenment he doesnโ€™t even understand drown his soul.
I understood that he airbrushed my appearance, and dropped deep into my eyes as they widened for him. I blushed before he engulfed me, and pressed my undertow.
If tonight was the last swim because of a storm I didnโ€™t see coming, or understand. It is because my eyes blurred by his presence.
The tide goes out, but it always come back. Sometimes it touches where we left off.

PART TWO OF ADVENTURES IN LIVINGNESS


 

On shore the land felt liquefied and unfamiliar without the sensual spark swimming along side me.ย  The leaves glistened above my head, like golden gems you’d wear on a necklace. The Santa Fe river sang its song over rocks, branches and brush, while white butterflies and birds fluttered an awakening.ย  I passed cafes, watched couples and families luxuriating in the sunlight, Canyon road art hawkers snapped photos, gallery owners chatted on the courtyards.

20141021_150953_resizedThe stage of comfort as picturesque as a postcard.ย  I was outside the activity.ย  I rushed home, passing people who walked as if lost, and shoes stuck in tar.ย  Thoughts trotted like ponies all going in different directions. No path had an answer, or a reason, or an understanding of our endearment.ย 

The Thinker swims close by. Sometimes I feel him soaring past me, glancing for a moment, then he’s gone. The house is quiet, doors and shades closed. My nakedness is wrapped in blankets and the aroma of pumpkin spice from a candle.ย  My stage is empty, no audience ofย  any sort. These areย  the moments when examination of behavior, discipline, and self-honesty rise aboveย  the solitude.ย  A woman of lovers rather than husbands, beckons my heart to open to the odyssey ofย  love.

I appreciate all the new followers from the THE THINKER story. Thank you for

your comments and hope you return for more.ย 

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ย 

 

 

SEASONAL BEHAVIOR & ROSH HASHANAH


The throw of the dice this week lands on adventures in contemplation. Before the day begins to intersect with my solitude, I sit at my desk in a pre-dawn crystal of clarity. Only the light from a candle shines on a journal of hand written notes. I walked outside to asses the damage of a devilish storm that ravished the night. Leaves dropped from trees and the street is slick with the residue of the storm. Autumn is rising from dormancy; she is painting the leaves pumpkin and cranberry, while impregnating the atmosphere with the perfume of seasonal change. The inversion seeps into my pores.
While shopping at Whole Foods last week, for my first stockpile of chicken tortilla soup, I noticed expressions of 20131003_160015[1]contemplation on faces. Not in the choice of their groceries, but a characteristic of preparation for winter. Pumpkins, firewood and potted mums have replaced the outdoor display of flower baskets and lavender.ย  The silence will blanket time beyond the hours of sleep. This is when contemplation is given the freedom to spread over my thoughts and feelings. September marks the disrobing of summer; as if the float of festivities,ย  parties, and outdoor markets were moved into storage.
Last week was the beginning of the new Year on the Jewish Calendar, Rosh Hashanah. Unlike New Years for the traditional American, is a time of contemplation and reckoning of ones faults. We are asked to examine our behavior and plant new seeds of integrity from within.
โ€œAnother popular practice of the holiday is Tashlikh (“casting off”). We walk to flowing water, such as a creek or river, on the afternoon of the first day and empty our pockets into the river, symbolically casting off our sins. Small pieces of bread are commonly put in the pocket to cast off. This practice is not discussed in the Bible, but is a long-standing custom.โ€ Excerpt from Wikipedia.
What I do is to take my emotional and physical wardrobe, and move it from the closet in my casita, to the upstairs storage closet. The skimpy and sexy finery are replaced with turtlenecks, leggings and wool. The emotional wardrobe, is pressed down to the fibers, so it can be studied. In this examination, the reflection of myself is not as important as it has been, the stubble of age has bitten me but not in a bitter way. It has burned down my childish selfishness, insistence of acknowledgment, intolerance of behavior unfamiliar to me, and detached me from the wayward choices made by our government. I used to work with the news turned on and the volume down.

This summer, beginning just after my adventure in Malibu with my friend Chantel, my grip on aloofness towards Santa Fe,ย  frustrations associated with publication, and narcissism dissipated. It is possible that one month in the company of Chantal, her vibrancy and generosity softened my reserve. In the last four months, Iโ€™ve at last given up tightening against the unmanageable forces that intersect with me, and meet the pleasures of humanity in nakedness. I stood in my doorway, shaded by trees and shrubbery, naked – simply to feel the sensation. In return for this placation of behavior, I was invited by my vacation rental guests into their gatherings and parties; a wedding couple and their twenty-five guests included me in their after party. We cajoled, roused, sang and danced until my neighbor, JD, shamed our festivity and ordered me to shut the party down. It was one-thirty in the morning. I wrapped my arm around his neck, and whispered, โ€˜Oh, you are so right; I will take care of it. Donโ€™t worry.โ€™ JD, a man with twenty- three civil complaints for noise ordinance disruption against the La Posada Resort across the street, replied โ€˜Well LouLou, if you donโ€™t, Iโ€™ll have to call the police.โ€™ I hugged him tighter, and said. โ€œOf course you will, and you have every right.โ€™ This is not the behavior that guided me last year. I returned to the party and made the announcement to the guests, who were by now leaning against the walls, drinking shots of whisky in bowls, and I said:
โ€˜ Party to dawn kids, but keep your voices down.โ€™ The lights went out at four-thirty in the morning. When I left the house, empty bottles, uneaten meals, flowers, shoes, and scarfs scattered everywhere. This disruption of my polished tidy home would have erupted me into a silent rage a year ago. After they checked-out, my new pal and assistant Marc, entered the house. Stepping over pillows, popcorn, sticky wood floors, and into a kitchen of stained counters and food crumbs; a counterfeit of my dear old hollering father shouted;ย  ‘ This is outrageous. Theyโ€™ll pay for this!’
โ€œ Stop. We were part of it. It was a wedding party. What did you expect?โ€

โ€œWhat the heck is that? Marc said pointing to a clump of food stuck to the wall.
โ€œ Looks like salsa and chips.โ€ I said with a sponge in my hand. By the time we reached the rooms upstairs, I too was chuckling. Two days later the houseย  converted from slipshod to spotless.
The spell of silence has now been broken. The sidewalk blowers stir the leaves, doors open, the clatter of buffet trays wheeling down the street from the kitchen at La Posada pushed by employees in white jackets, swipe greetings, and converse in Spanish. My birds are screeching for more seeds, and the candle is just about burned out. The unknown outcome of our state of affairs in government and society has padded me with extra elasticity, tolerance, and love. Maybe our collective kindness will intercede with the poisonous bitterness and vengeance that titillates through the news.

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COMPASSION RELIEVES THE SUFFERING


Woody Allen commented on depression in all his films; the one I remember most went something like this; โ€˜I get depressed if one person is suffering in Africa.โ€™

Remember those days; when all we had to concern ourselves with was:ย  Africa, a bit of Russia, and powerfully silent Cuba and China.ย  The Europeans loved us back then; we gave them something to laugh about.

I turn on the news intermittently during the day; and whatever activity had occupied me suddenly dissipated into bothersome dust.ย  Murder, beheadings, shootings, corruption, deception, fear and helplessness swept away the dust, and my consciousness wept.

Whether it is the unfathomable death of a woman who seemed immortal, the youngย  journalist beheaded on television,ย  the left and right parties swinging obscenities atย  each other,ย  all soliciting a reality show of our government. My choice of sorrows is mounting.

Today is a cabaret of: weather, activity, and excitement as Fiesta Week begins in Santa Fe.
The city will converge on the Plaza for the performing arts, parades, musical improvisations, dance and Northern New Mexicoย  chow. Policeman will be stationed alongside the booths to protect us.ย  They look grouchy and irritable; but in my experience, the friendliest cops Iโ€™ve ever met. Try talking to a cop in Los Angeles.20140823_134608

The butter on the tortilla ofย  Santa Fe, is that our community events, processions, and traditional religious enactments are safe havens forย  Spaniards,ย  Native Americans, the mixed,ย  the foreign and us Anglos. I can ask to be invited into any assemblage and chances are they will accept my presence.

The safety and careย  of people depends on all of us. If I recognize a stoned drunk stumbling; I should take his hand to shelter. If an old woman needs help crossing the street: I should lead her. Ifย  insults and arguments draw my attention; I should keep my eye on the situation. This is where my consciousness rises from dust and sorrow; to a strong wind of humanity.

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MALIBU- CANDLES OF THE MOUNTAIN


 

Interaction with strangers in the same house lit my anxiety alarm. The last time roommates occupied the same house was in 1972. I lived in a three-story twelve bedroom mansion in San Rafael, California. There were thirteen of us. Disbro lived in the attic and inhaled laughing gas all day. I was twenty-years old.
This anxiety was visible even at twenty. Sometimes all of us sat down to dinner at one dining room table. The conversations literally wrapped around the room, the halls, and the windows. My voice was restrained; they were too conversational and intellectually humorous for me. I was the youngest.
This brings us back to the Puzzle of Solitude. When there is conversational nuances, improvisations, laughter, dancing, cooking, dressing, showering, slacking, without strain or tension, then it is time to leave out solitude and hook the bait of adventure.
Fragments of my fragmented spirit reincarnated this summer at Chantelโ€™s. There were three full-time roommates that shared the house, Chantel, Speedy, and Nathan and an occasional Nico. There are up to eight visitors occupying the private cottages, and a flexible showing of hungry men and women at dinner time. Added to this is the number of languages spoken, English, Spanish, French, German and Kouiโ€™s (Chantelโ€™s dog) welcoming bark.
Interaction on the routine, necessary, and impulsive terms of cohabitation in the morning: preparing coffee in two Turkish pots, buttering bread, stretching, checking email, cuddling Koui, and taking showers. The first morning my mask shed when I walked into the kitchen in my nightie and open robe. What happened in twelve hours to my belt of modesty?ย  Speedy and I chatted in English, and then heโ€™dย  Skype his wife. One morning he introduced us. I looked forward to his Skype discussions; the most fluid and rhythmic language to my ears. The art of conversation has vanished from many factions of our society. The phone and laptop are now our mouths and ears.
Not so with Europeans.
โ€œ Loulou, so you have a gallery of photography?ย ย 
ย ย ย  โ€œ We had one; now itโ€™s a vacation rental decorated with photography.โ€
Nico leaned against the wooden island table to hear the story. You canโ€™t look Nico in the eyes without lusting just a little.
โ€œ Howโ€™d you start this gallery? Nico asked while chopping perfectly unmeasured tomatoes, mushrooms, and onion.ย 
โ€œ I called photographers;ย  and a few friends pushed my cart to the right door. One time I walked into a gallery on Robertson Blvd and noticed this exhibition of celebrities on the beach in St Tropez. It was incredible!โ€
Fabian who owns a gallery on Robertson moved in closer as I continued.
“I walked in and asked the Swedish owner if heโ€™d co-exhibit in our gallery in New Mexico. He said yes, we didnโ€™t even sign anything. He kept his end up. So I showed the Edward Quinn’s in Santa Fe. I should have bought the Audrey Hepburn one; when she was eighteen.โ€
โ€œI know the Quinn photographs.ย  Bridget Bardot– yes– what was the name of the Gallery?โ€ Fabian revealed enough interest to spark mine.โ€
โ€œ Christopher Guye.โ€
He moved closerย  so we were face to face.

โ€œI know Christophe! My first gallery was next door!โ€

All of us applauded the connection; I think I moved a notch closer to the group.
This is what happens when joining is more exhilarating than not. In the next few weeks: we dined in French and English, watched Soccer, teased and laughed, cooked and drank. There were parties with Jennie, Chantelโ€™s assistant, who has two congregations of friends, all uniquely different and robust. I had walks on the beach alone, and time to write; but the real vacation was interior. I left the old LouLou, who paced, fretted, vacillated and deconstructed behind. She lost the battle to interior florescence.

The thread of interaction followed me outside the compound.ย  I discoveredย  Malibu is not all celebrities and rock-stars. There are families that go to the beach, hang out at Vintage Market, and attend community events tied to the ocean, horses, and surfing. The school of surfing for children is worth a visit just to see the little boys and girls riding waves. Malibu has its own Playhouse, a Movie Theater and two upscale outdoor shopping malls. The Getty Villa perched on cliff- side overlooking Pacific Coast Highway has reopened and it is free to the public.

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The vacation sabbatical ended last week; though the effect remains. This adventure was supposed to be all about ocean swimming, window shopping, revisiting former favorite spots; what I really needed was to revisit myself. Do we ever stop emerging? I hope not.

Candles of the mountain are a cactus plant that hopscotch the Santa Monica Mountains. Their 20140723_075644flowers are white and when the sun sets into darkness they light up the mountains like candles.ย 

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CANDLES OF THE MOUNTAIN


 

ADVENTURES IN MALIBU DINING. 20140725_193214[1]

The fog today has brushed the mountains with a thick white mist almost like a snow mass; yet the temperature is warm. What I found most entertaining in a writers way, was the night Chantel and I visited NOBU; โ€œNo One Beats Us.โ€

ON THE OTHER SIDE OF UNTAMED, UNDRESSED WILDERNESS are the unhurried pocket full of cash residents, or resident visitors, that line up in waxed sports cars and convertibles at the entrance of NOBU. I wonder if they have summer and winter cars as I watch them slouching on the terrace sofas: women in latex tight jeans, bottoms-up mini skirts, and men in tight V-Neck Tโ€™s and designer jeans.

โ€œ Oh Chantel this is going to be so fun.โ€
โ€œ You think so?โ€

We sat down on the terrace sofas and ordered drinks. As a thirty-year old
this sort of stylish trendy expensive dining was all I cared about and I canโ€™t tell you why because I never got inside the groups that I followed. Thirty years later my sense of belonging is unimportant; it is the observation deck of a group that is
capable of supreme prating, joking, excessive drinking and charismatic behavior.

NOBU

I spotted two men dressed in musicians gear, top hats, and dancing lace up boots swaying towards us.
โ€œ Hello girls, do you mind if we join you.โ€ I didnโ€™t look at Chantel until they swayed a bit more indiscreetly, and realized they were hammered.
โ€œYou guys rock n roll musicians.โ€ I asked
โ€œWhat? Howโ€™d you know?โ€
โ€œThe British accent, two bottles of beer in one hand and the hat.
They bent over at the waist in laughter and collapsed on a sofa across from us.
Thirties, with squinted red eyes, and big smiles; they laughed at everything I said.
โ€œ I like that you call us girls; but we really are. Arenโ€™t we Chantel?โ€.
She smiled and when they asked her what kind of music she liked she said
โ€˜ All kinds.โ€
What about you?โ€ The less than stupid drunk one asked me.
โ€œ Mick Jagger.โ€
He spread his arms out wide and then slapped the table.
โ€œThe guy is unbelievable. No truly the best man today, still. I canโ€™t believe the guy.โ€
Common ground in music stroked our conversation, until the stupid drunk one
tipped over one of his beers, while trying to stand. They drifted off to their crowd and I remained fixated to the garden of youth circulating the terrace.

The indoors were crammed with shiny female legs, and beautiful male arms. There was no identification of loners or singles; just one large crowd hip to hip. No one place Iโ€™ve been to can beat the sizzling sexuality, liberation of theatrics, and prices. Two pieces of tuna are $8.00 and Sashimi is $25.00.
I left my phone that nightย  and when I returned the next day at noon there were twenty people waiting to get in. Thinly disguised in hat, ankle length bathing suit wrap, and glasses, I did not look like I belonged and I liked that feeling. It was a star-spangled banner sort of celebration that I really donโ€™t mind being on the outskirts. I am staying in Malibu; but I am not a Malibu moneyed account.

The next evening outing I stopped at Geoffrey’s Restaurant; in my southwest dirty 2002 Discovery. The valet was directing traffic as if he was a pilot commanding a landing of private jets.
โ€œ You are very good with those signals.โ€
He nodded. No time to talk. images

I tried to walk in without looking at the floor; as if Iโ€™d been there before.
The bar was half full; and the dining room tables were all taken.ย  The backdrop was cinematic; a glorious china-blue sea, with seagulls and surfers marked through floor to ceiling spotless glass. There was so much reflection and light;ย  the groomed and jeweled diners looked like actors on a movie set. That makes me a little uncomfortable; to be so transparent. I noticed a spot on my shoe, a tiny one that turned brownish the more I stared.

The bartendress breezed over,’ Hi. May I start you with some sparkling water’ one Iโ€™d never heard of.
โ€œ A wine list please and the appetizer menu.โ€ She gleamed at that.

My journal was my partner; so I scribbled away casually and felt inducted into Geoffrey’s.ย ย  I ordered the crab cakes appetizer,ย  wafer size but so delicious I would order them again.ย  As soon as the gloaming hour arrived it was time to leave. I had not mastered the swerving mountain roadsย  to Chantel’s in the dark.

” Check please.”ย  I said.

What a sensational feeling to sign the slip and know there is more than enough in my bank account.

” Your card didn’t go through.”

” Try it again please. There should be no problem.”

” Sorry. The card is — not accepted.”

Not enough cash to pay a thirty-five dollar bill was more than humiliating;ย  so I pulled an Allen Smiley.

” I’ve never heard of such a thing. Wells Fargo will hear about this!” I called Wells Fargo and followed all the instructions and then waited. By this time the owner, thirties and as pretty as the Blue Boy, appeared.

I signaled him to wait a moment just as Wells Fargo disconnected me.

Then I pitched up my voice melodramaticallyย  to the owner and talked up my frustration. As I am explaining that I am visiting and that all my ready cash was spent in one day in Malibu and I was so sorry;ย  I went swimming in his almost Paul Newman eyes.

” It’s no problem. It’s okay.ย  I”ll run the hand written receipt tomorrow.” He said with suave charming lips and teeth.

Then he left. I turned to the Bartendress and asked if this ever happens at Geoffrey’s. She smiled and said, ‘ No, but it used to happen in a bar I worked at.’

I left in a roundabout reminderย  that I should stop galloping around without cash; especially on a vacation.

The next day I walked into Wells Fargo at Trancas Canyon.ย  Three employees welcomed me: coffee, water, how can we help, all in sync.ย ย  After I explained the story toย  a college age man behind a walnut desk, heย  called someone at Wells Fargo and then I learned the trick to traveling.

” If you go out of state you need to let us know so we won’t block your account.”

” For thirty-five dollars? Don’t tell me you do that when Cher leaves town.”ย  She didn’t laugh.

” The block is removed. Is there anything else we can do?’

” I hope not.”

The suntanned jolly man at the desk began a conversation:ย  where do you live, how long you’re in Malibu, have you been to Trancas Beach and then he asked why I didn’t have a savings account.ย  I leaned in real close and whispered, I don’t have that much money.

‘” I see we just sent you a platinum credit card.”

” I never received a platinum credit card.” He leaned back in his leather executive chair that really didn’t suitย  him at all and said,ย  ” You probably thought it was an advertisement and threw it away.”

” Do you know what the limit is?” I asked.

He tapped on his computer and I watched in anticipation.

” Three thousand dollars.”

” Really?”

” Yes. Now let’s talk about you opening up a savings account. You have to have one.'”

I wanted to stand up and hug him. Instead I asked him if he surfed.

” Yea, but I’m not that good really.”

”ย  It doesn’t always matter that you’re good; some thingsย  are just about doing it.”

To be continued.

PART TWO CANDLES OF THE MOUNTAIN


ADVENTURES IN LIVINGESS-20140713_205128MALIBU

The next morning Chantal was not in her transparently privatized bedroom with a gauzy drape.ย  From the kitchen Iโ€™d poured a cup of black as beans espresso from Chantalโ€™s Turkish coffee maker and dozily slumped into a swinging love seat on the lanai. Still in my pajamas,ย  listless as a floating cotton willow; the grounding Iโ€™d felt the day before had evaporated. Looking and listening to birds, rooster, and distant horses, all within a misty silhouette that filled in the hips of the mountains. Beyond the sea, the imagery of my reclusive life in Santa Fe manifested. The skin I wore in Santa Fe; unreasoningly introverted with a coating of protection flaked off and a news skin surfaced.
Just as the image is crystallizing, I sense Chantal crossing the garden towards me.
โ€œ LouLouโ€”are you okay?โ€
โ€œ Iโ€™m not living right at all, โ€ I uttered without a smile.
She sat down beside me, placed her cell phone behind her, rested her elbows on her knees and leaned toward me to look in my eyes.
โ€œ Oh why? You are not happy in Santa Fe?โ€
โ€œ Not anymore-I see things differently now.โ€
โ€œ Yes, this is what happens when we take vacation. If youโ€™re life is not full then you must change it. Itโ€™s not always the place that matters, but how you live. You know some people like to suffer, this is not you. I know– believe me. I meet people from all over the world.ย  I traveled with Carl everywhere.โ€
โ€œWellย  Iโ€™m full now– but Iโ€™ve been in a cage.โ€
โ€œ This is not good! I will tell you that since Carl died I too wanted to live in my bedroom and not even get out of our bed. So I worked day and night to keep his legacy going, and to manage the vacation rentals. I made myself so busy just to get through the pain. I was a mess; many times I didnโ€™t think Iโ€™d get through it. But you see–I am okay now. I still think of him everyday and some days are rough; but this is life. We donโ€™t know what will happen. You have to live now. When you die no one remembers you; they go on living. “She opened her mouth and her smile asked me to smile with her.
โ€œ We will have a lot of fun you and I. You know I feel like weโ€™ve known each other. You feel that too?โ€
โ€œ Yes! I think my choice to come here was to meet you.โ€
โ€œ Oooh lala-then we begin to enjoy. You hungry? I make some breakfast and then we go to Trader Joes. I make a party tonight. Howโ€™s that?โ€
โ€œ Iโ€™d like that.โ€
โ€œ You want some eggs–how do you like them?โ€
โ€œ Iโ€™m so full of joy I have no appetite.โ€
She threw her head back, and laughed.
โ€œ What time is it Chantal?โ€
โ€œ Itโ€™s eleven oโ€™clock. You sleep very late.โ€
โ€œ No.ย  I never sleep this late.โ€

I followed Chantal into the kitchen where she was leaning against the stove frying eggs; she was on her cell phone.ย  โ€˜Cheri, you come tonight for dinner and meet my new friend LouLou.โ€™ย  Then another call and another. To observe Chantal is to see the openness of a human being without hesitation, restraint or obsession. I followed her around for the rest of the day just like Kou-Koui; her little Habanese dog. Chantal’sย  enthusiasm for the approaching party was seamless. As we shopped at Trader Joes, she chatted with customers, the grocery clerk, and the cell phone that rings continuously.

โ€œ LouLou, is that you?โ€
I was passing her bedroom as she called me in and patted the bed for me to sit.
โ€œHave you had a shower? I will take one after you. I marinated the chicken and meat, so all we have now is the salad.โ€

In the kitchen she is dressed in a skirt, neck-less blouse, and a magenta flower behind one ear. Asย  she demonstrates how to cut the cucumbers, tomatoes, and avocado,ย  she darts from one skilletย  to another. The music is ruminating through the house; a French wave of seduction and rhythm that entices us to dance aroundย  the kitchen island.ย  I feel like a young girl learning to be a woman. She is only a few years older than me; yetย  her human connection of livingnessย  is unbridged and unchained.

I intended to write a travel story about Malibu;ย  as you see the travel story is Chantal.

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CANDLES OF THE MOUTAIN PART TWO


ADVENTURES IN LIVINGNENESS

โ€œThere is more enterprise in walking naked (in the Yeatsian sense) and being tough enough to survive such intensity of caring and such openness, between a driving need to share experience and the need for time to experience and that means solitude, a balance between the need to become oneself and to give of oneselfโ€ฆand of course they are closely related.โ€ May Sarton.

The Journal of Solitude.

This book was one of the first of ten that injected my veins with the thirst to write. It was
1992, and while I scanned a bookshelf in Capistrano Beach, this book seemed to say, read me. Several months ago I ordered it online and began reading it after I wrote my segments on the Puzzle of Solitude. How curious that this is book I brought to read in Malibu; as I may teetering between this excerpt every moment of the day.

I landed on Pacific Coast Highway on the fourth of July and zipped up the curves of the road squinting to read the signs. This highway that was once my weekend adventure in a packed mustang filled with high school friends was now mine alone. Inhaling the salty sea breeze, and listening to Tom Petty sing, Free Fall, my heart opened to what I was about to experience. The doubt had vanished and as I crossed the lanes to turn up Encinal Canyon road, I broke out laughing.
Only a few days ago I was sobbing as my doubt and confidence were inflamed with childless fear. Just past Malibu colony the scenery seemed to sigh with relief from blaring radios in convertible Mercedes, motorcycles, and a river of beachcombers flip-flopping down to the shoreline. The terrain rises into a rugged enclave of sand crusted
boulders, as I passed the perfectly seamed and shaved lawn of Pepperdine College.

Chantalโ€™s directions were exact as I pulled into the dirt and rock driveway and parked in front of the house. She has an alert buzzer on the gate so she was already on the flagstone steps when I got out of the car. Even before she welcomed me in words, a radiant warm aura illumined my response.
โ€œYou are LouLou, I am Chantal. Come, I will show you around.โ€ Her effortless smile and fluid swaying hips led me through a garden of birds of paradise, palm trees, elm, succulents, pepper trees, cactus, and so many varieties of flowers that my first impression was already sealed,ย  I was in Shangri-La.20140712_18273120140707_175334

โ€œThis is the main house, where you come and go as you please,” and then sheย  continued through the open rooms sheltered in wood and glass into the living museum of the legacy ofย  her deceased husband, Carl Gillberg: chest- high clay pots, bronze and cherry wood sculptures, masks, paintings, and photographs.

 

Carl Gillberg

 

In the kitchen she announced, โ€œHere, you see this shelf is for you, and here is your vegetable bin to put things, and you take what you want. Just because I bought it doesnโ€™t mean you canโ€™t take it. You see, we are very open and relaxed here.ย  You just be at home; like it is your home.โ€
I followed her through a gate; to an open garden. Here is where we shower, you like it?โ€ She looked into my eyes and her mouth widened with anticipatory pleasure. I glanced at the claw foot tub, expansive banana plant, and shower head.
โ€œDoes anyone else share the shower?
No no, just you and me. You close the curtain see?โ€ and demonstrated the act.
โ€œYou will love it,โ€ and as she parted the corrugated sliding door to my room and I looked inside, the chime of change rang.
โ€œWhat is your nationality?โ€ she asked placing her hands on her hips.
โ€œRussian Irish.โ€
โ€œOooh la la; very strong.โ€
โ€œAnd you?โ€
โ€œI am French Haitian.ย  I left Haiti when I was very young and went to France.ย  I will tell you more. Now, where is your luggage?โ€
โ€œIโ€™ll get it.โ€
โ€œYou need some help eh?โ€
โ€œNo, I loaded it in so I can load it outโ€
She chuckled.
Her cell phone rang. โ€œ Oui, Cheriโ€”it has been a long time since we talked. What has happened in your life?โ€ Her fluid intoxicating French conversation sent me skipping off the flagstone steps to my car.

I was hopelessly impressed. The majestic mountains, slopping hillsides, and crusted canyons open to the faded-jean blue sea. The spring of joy rose like an orgasm as my eyes blinked with every turn of the head to capture another slice of the Santa Monica Mountains.ย  20140704_162840

When I returned, she was preparing espresso?
โ€œYou like a cup of coffee?โ€
โ€œI love it.โ€
โ€œGood. We sit on the veranda and you tell me your story. You like my house LouLou?โ€
โ€œ Chantal, this is Shangrai-la.โ€
She threw here head back and her birch brown curls took flight.20140707_194504

Over the next week my life was an interpretation of the beginning except from May Sarton. To be continued.

 

 

SMILEYS DICE ON THROWING ALL THE DICE


 

Adventures in Livingness

Upper Lanai
Upper Lanai

MALIBU- ISLAND
I was flipping channels one night in Santa Fe, New Mexico where I live. I stopped when the opening scene of Donโ€™t Make Waves with Tony Curtis and Sharon Tate. Her name in the credits;ย  Introducing Sharon Tate. So I lay back against the warm sweat soaked pillows, turned on the A/C and watched. The first scene was on Pacific Coast Hwy in Malibu. Tony is in a car crash with Sharon Tate. The appearance of Sharon was that of Bo Derek in the film 10. A vine like body swimming in golden flesh with long honey sand hair draped over her shoulders. The flashback to the Mason Murder was soon replaced with this heart shape faced delivering sinewy gestures that matched her feathery voice. The film came outย  in 1963 and the coastline was as pure and unmarked as Sharon; a winding highway empty of cars, cafes and promenades. This is the Malibu I remembered from my adolescent adventures to the beach to watch the surfers.

The scenery unfolded into breathtaking views of the coves and hillsides surrounding Malibu, like organic sculpturesย  drenched in sea-foam as waves broke. Within a few minutes I bolted up in bed and paused the film.

Thatโ€™s where Iโ€™m going! My journey was given a name. I had a month marked out for a vacation away from Santa Fe while my house was rented to a family of eight. It was a month before the guests would arrive and I still had not penned in my destination.

I went to sleep half way through the movie mumbling to myself; Malibu, Malibu Malibu.
Please God, let me land in Malibu.

The next morning I fished for vacation rentals on the INTERNET and got hooked into
homes, cottages and condos for not less than $1000.00 a night. One estate rented for
thirty thousand a night.

I switched to Craigs list and scrolled down the postings, armored with Russian determination. A posting in bold black came up – MALIBU ISLAND. I clicked through the photographs and prayed. This is how I found myย  roomย  in Malibu;a private room with an outdoor showerย  in an estate home perched on the hills above El Matador Beach. In this house the owner, Chantal, also lived. ย  I booked the month without more than a day of what ifโ€™s and what nots could be expected.

To be continued.