ON MEN -Excerpt from Gaslighting Greta<br>What I think of at three in the morning spirals into realizations and recognitions, and a time when my mirrors move toward me. The insomnia of separation from a man’s shoulder bowed to my head, tweaks my worries like soft bread. The mind that directs me when driving adventurely maps our journey safely. The voice that encourages and applauds my success rather than swaying with jealousy or preoccupation. How the laughter erupts in a moment of spontaneous passion. The gestures of him shaving, and the modest vanity after I re-wardrobe him. Feeling his eyes in a crowd, undressing or admiring me, for some folly or expression. The humor he finds in my misguided attempts to open bottles and packages with a dull spoon and figure out electronics. How he will pardon and pamper my unwarranted fears of stalkers, nightmares, cancer, and falling down the slippery wooden stairs. The man whose balance evens my wrinkles, lets light into my eyes, and opens my shell with wonder and shelter. See less<br>Shared post<br><br><br><br><br><br><br><a href="https://www.facebook.com/gootgeldlevine?comment_id=Y29tbWVudDoxMDI0ODA0MDk3OTU4Mzk1Nl8yMDk0MDk5Mzg0ODA0OTQx&__cft__[0]=AZir3RmnNxdJAyXcf_I8lKe5Kp45iAZZg9H4GDHaydaCUWBka4vtUxb4T2JY2u6yTsQJ6oT04i9C_Xer5ma2GF6Wa8EYTHhefjLOPi1FDpV3D3FPIEWV5JRL7E9Awi6SScHhjW5KOtHn9w&__tn__=R-R">Carolyn Gootgeld-Levine</a><br>·<br><br>Dad?<br><br><br><br>LUELLEN SMILEY ADVENTURERS IN LIVINGNESS

Where Gaps of Expression are Liberated

ABOUT

Luellen Smiley is a creative nonfiction writer, author, columnist, and historian whose writing is deeply rooted in a controversial personal history. She is the daughter of Allen Smiley, a close friend, associate, and business partner of notorious Las Vegas gangster Benjamin “Bugsy” Siegel. Her father was sitting only feet from Siegel when Siegel was murdered in Beverly Hills on June 20, 1947.

That extraordinary childhood history became the foundation for Smiley’s first book, Cradle of Crime: A Daughter’s Tribute, published in 2017. The memoir explores what it was like to grow up as the daughter of a man connected to organized crime while trying to reconcile her love for her father with the secrecy, fear, and criminal world surrounding him.

Smiley’s work has appeared in publications including the New York Post, MORE Magazine, Southern California newspapers, and Authorlink. She wrote the newspaper column Smiley’s Dice—Adventures in Livingness, which earned a Blue-Ribbon Award from the California Newspapers Association for her Growing Up With Gangsters columns.

Her interest in her father’s history also led her to become a researcher and commentator on organized crime history. She has participated in television, radio, and documentary interviews.

Smiley’s next book, Gaslighting Greta, will be published this year. A personal story that reads like fiction. Her own website describes the project as exploring a woman whose life is destabilized by gaslighting and psychological manipulation.

Her writing career reflects a recurring theme: using personal experience and research to uncover the truth behind complicated relationships and extraordinary lives. From the secretive world surrounding her father and Bugsy Siegel to the deeply personal territory of Gaslighting Greta, Smiley’s work transforms difficult experiences into stories of survival, discovery, and ultimately reclaiming one’s voice.

Luellen Smiley is an author whose life has given her an unusual perspective on secrecy, manipulation, family loyalty, betrayal, and survival—and she uses that perspective as the raw material for her nonfiction storytelling.

TRIPPING ON TAOS, NEW MEXICO


2 responses to “TRIPPING ON TAOS, NEW MEXICO”

  1. Robert R. Funk Avatar
    Robert R. Funk

    Short and sweet, great post, much said and it felt good.

    Like

  2. Baron Wolman Avatar
    Baron Wolman

    Taos: Da best “unraveling” spot in the area… 🙂

    XoB

    On Wed, Jul 13, 2016 at 5:34 PM, ODYSSEY OF LOVE– STEP BEHIND MY SCREEN OF STORIES. THE inner voice where gaps of expression are liberated. wrote:

    > LouLou posted: “CHAPTER NINE 1998 WAS ALL RIGHT AWAKENING ON THE > ROADRUNNER SHUTTLE as we chugged up the steep grade highway, the red skin > of Taos peeled back the imposing medieval Gorge crack. The cavity unzipped > and five thousand feet below was the Rio Grande. I ” >

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1998 WAS ALL RIGHT

AWAKENING ON THE ROADRUNNER SHUTTLE as we chugged up the steep grade highway, the red skin of Taos peeled back the imposing medieval Gorge crack. The cavity unzipped and five thousand feet below was the Rio Grande. I felt the altitude filling my lungs, and my eyes twitching from one scenic masterpiece to another. Everyone in the shuttle was giving me a history lesson about Taos. Before I knew it, the shuttle door opened, and the driver yelled, ‘Smiley.”

At the end of a two-mile dirt road the shuttle dropped me off and I was shouldered on either side by melting banks of snow.  It was April. Unexpected snow storms arrived the same week.

The FBI boxes I’d shipped were in front of my casita.  Darting from room to room, thoroughly satisfied with a two-story loft, floor-to-ceiling windows, and sunlight in all the right spots. I unpacked in the sedated silence. Was I all alone out here?  A few other casitas were on the property, but they looked vacant. A pang of anxiety seized and then I realized, I had a cell phone, a credit card, and cash. I could always call a cab right.  It was winter in April; the first time I’d lived in falling

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
DH. LAWRENCE WRITING ROOM. TAOS.

snow.  In the dining room, I unpacked the boxes and arranged them in a circle around the table. It was a heavy southwestern oak table, twelve feet long, and to the right were sliding glass doors that let the light stream across the black-and-white print. I was left to unravel two thousand more pages on Dad’s criminal life.

The trip was extended to two months. I read all the files and left Taos a different woman. I came back, persuaded Rudy to come visit, and he was hooked within minutes. He bought the Live Work Studio and fulfilled my dream of opening a  Gallery of Black & White Photography of our 60s Rock & Roll legends.. One of Lou Reed shooting up heroin.


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